At DMARGE, we take sex seriously and have been helping blokes with a whole host of sexual wellness issues for years — from sitting down the Angela White to get the sex tips you never knew you needed to the secret hacks for better casual encounters — we thought we’d seen it all.
That was, until, Lovehoney’s 2024 Sex Trends Report slid across our desk. Detailing the biggest upcoming changes to the world of sex that you should anticipate this year, the rise of AI, ‘relationship sabbaticals’. and a more holistic approach to sexual wellbeing — that focuses on your mental as well as your physical pleasure – all feature on their list.
WATCH: Angela White Reveals Her Most Important Sex Advice For Men
However, it was a small detail in their section on ‘Outercourse’ — another of their slated trends that comprises “anything that an individual considers sensually and/or sexually relevant that is not penetrative sex” — that really caught our eye, revealing a male pleasure point that we’d never even heard of, let alone but to practice…
Let’s Talk Outercourse
Before we reveal the magic male fun button, let’s delve a little deeper into what outercourse is and why it’s important for a well-rounded, healthy, and ultimately exciting sex life. For the details, we’re handing the reigns to sex therapist Christine Rafe, who highlights a widening ‘orgasm gap’ between men and women before going on to discuss the benefits of so-called outercourse…
“Some definitions of outercourse might say it is specifically genital touch that is non-penetrative, but I like to define outercourse as more of a whole-person experience”, which can include “touch and stimulation of the external genitals, nipples, thighs, grinding/dry-humping, and even non-touch activities like dirty talk or video/phone sex!“
Ultimately, “the definition of sex as penis in vagina penetration is steeped in heteronormative and reproductively focused views of sex”:
“Where we might have historically called non-penetrative touch ‘foreplay’, this insinuates that non-penetrative activities are less important than penetrative, and follows a linear view that sees penis in vagina penetration as the goal of what sex ‘should’ be, which is only true for reproductive purposes.”
Christine Rafe
The Male Clitoris
At the end of this segment, the writers from Lovehoney go on to talk about a couple of sex toys that have revolutionised the industry through their approach to bringing ‘outercourse’ into the sexual fold. One is a specially altered showerhead that can provide an outlet for your lady friends to get a little dirty before getting clean and — crucially — a product from ION that uses ‘Pleasure Air Technology’ to provide external stimulation to the frenulum.
Not only had half our team at the DMARGE office — 90% of whom are enis-possessing people — never even heard of this special body part, but even fewer had ever thought of using it in a pleasurable setting. Deemed by Lovehoney’s experts to be “the penis’ most sensitive area“, it could if you’re willing to do a little self-exploration, provide a whole new outlet for male pleasure akin to clitoral stimulation for women.
So, next time you get down to funtime — whether that be solo, with a partner, or even a few — consider giving this little-known body part some of your time, attention, and affection. Who knows, you may enjoy loads of unexpected rewards…