After a hard few years, we doubt this is what American men want to hear, but the sad truth is that the nation is already in the beginnings of a ‘male friendship recession’ that is set to snowball in the coming months.
This new dimension to the deepening mental health crisis is fuelling increased levels of depression and isolation amongst men who, despite the increasing normalisation of new-age therapies — such as the psychedelics revolution taking place in Australia — seem to be struggling more than ever.
Having friends is one of the most central and enjoyable aspects of the human experience, but it seems that for several years now friendship levels have been on the decline across the board, but men are suffering the most from it.
According to the Survey Center on American Life, the percentage of men with six or more close friends has been in something of a terminal decline since 1990, halving across the period. Now, 20% of single men consider themselves to have zero close friends.
How To Make Friends As A Single, Adult Man
Making friends isn’t all that easy, especially in an age of increasingly remote work and living enabled by a highly dispersed and networked digital age. Here are some tips to help you find some bros amid the downturn, supplied by The New York Times.
Friendships Rarely Happen Organically
Dr Marisa Franco is an expert in adult friendships but remains amazed by how many adults assume that friendships will occur organically as they did in childhood. Sadly. they will not; you have to make them happen:
“Making friends as an adult requires initiative.”
Dr Marisa Franco
Dr. Franco suggests inserting yourself into recurring social situations like joining a club or a class so that there are naturally arising opportunities for getting to know new people over time.
She also advises going into any social situation with the mindset that the people you meet will enjoy your company, pointing to research that suggests people are usually better liked by strangers than they assume.
Activities Are Key
Men are much more comfortable talking to each other and bonding when they have a shared activity happening in parallel to that conversation.
“Boys and men tend to be socialized to do group activities kind of side by side” says Fred Rabinowitz, the chair of the psychology department at the University of Redlands. This is something that men looking to make friends should lean into.
“Saying ‘Let’s go to the game together’ or ‘Let’s play poker’ — that can allow them to have contact with other guys and play with them, which can make it easier to talk…”
Fred Rabinowitz
Dr Franco helpfully points out, however, that this can limit intimacy; there’s nothing wrong with meeting up just for a chat over beer, dinner, or coffee.
Check-Ins
According to a study published in July 2022, casually reaching out to someone means. a lot more than most people expect. Drop your friends a casual “How are you doing?” text and you’ll be amazed not only at how much they appreciate it but how quickly a stalled friendship can come back into bloom.
Whatever tactics you use, we wish you luck: go find some bros and your life will be all the better for it.